Babies, I miss you.

Miss my babies so much! I used to see them everyday but now, I can only see them in photos.

Another way is to stick their picture on the wall~
So every morning, when I opens my eye, the first thing I will be seeing is four of them!


That's great isn't it?

I don't mind the pictures are in black and white as long as their faces are there.

aaaaaaah! Miss u all so much!


Additional : One of my wishes is to go back to the morning of the day Junior lost, so that I can take care of it for whole day. I am really sorry Junior.

Junior came back as a moth.

It has been awhile since Junior's disappearance and still, no sign of her.

I always pray and hope Junior will come back and say goodbye to me.
No i'm not silly. I believe life after death and surely Junior knows I miss her and she will come back.
Nah, no worry, i'm fine and not turning into a psycho as a missing-her-too-much effect.

I talked to Unazukin this afternoon and she nodded when I asked :

Will Junior come back?
yup.

By today?
She nodded twice!
You sure?
Nodded again!

After dinner, I found this unique butterfly (or moth?) which I never seen b4 in my house.
I think it is Junior! She come back in silence to say goodbye!
Maybe this thought comes from imagination but it is time for me to put down Junior.
U know, Chinese do believe when someone you love died, they will come back to visit you in the form of insect.
Some may transform into the dragonfly, little bug and the most common, moth.

I talked with the moth, of course she didn't answer me lah, once again, I'm not sick.
In the conversation, erm, can I consider it as conversation?
Although I am the only one who talks, i imagine she understoond and reacts to me.
I said goodbye and wish her a better life in future, won't killed by the celaka cat anymore!

haha, her left had partially killed my heart.
It is suffering and no medicine to cure!
All by myself, keep convincing myself no guiltiness and no regretness.
I just can't throw her out of my mind. Keep thinking how innocent is she when she was killed ;(
At sometimes I'm afraid I'll get some psychic problem.
As far as I've concerned, people might get crazy if they over missed someone.

Lastly,
Bye bye baby Junior.

p/s : Leong, don't buy rabbit for me. I'm just kidding.

ciaoz, The Amazing Race Asia gonna start.

Support Bernie and Henry!!!!

失去的悲痛，Grieve of Lost, Forever love, Junior.

你曾经失去过你最爱的宠物吗？
那感觉是不是很难受呢？
Have you ever lost your love pets?
How was the feeling?

亲爱的Junior,
你听到吗？
我每天都在祈祷你会回来我身边，继续接受你还来不及接受的爱。。
你还在人世吗？还是已经脱离痛苦，到天国去了。

10月4日晚上9.30分，是我一生都不会忘记的时刻。
那时的震撼与恐惧，看见一个没有你在里面的笼子，和打翻了的食物盘，我多希望我是眼花，希望渺小的你还在笼子里。
但是我看清楚了，你真的没有在笼子里。
害怕与恐惧感开始笼罩我了，我有不好的预感。

还记得我一打开礼物盒，看见你那小小黑黑的身躯，开心与惊喜只是存在几秒钟。
接下来的我在想：糟了，我已经有三只兔子，再加一只，怎样照顾呢？糟糕糟糕！
生日派对其余的时间，我都把你交托在朋友那边照顾，自己去忙招呼客人。
想起来，还真愧疚，为什么不早一点给予你足够的爱呢？

本来我对你没有什么感觉，但是，今天下午，我把你翻过来，放在我腿上，你一动也不动的样子，好讨人喜爱哦！
还有你那小小的耳朵，小小的身躯，深深的占领了我的心。
正当我开始要疼爱你的时候，你却离开了。

我疯狂了，发狂到处去寻找，每一个小角落都不放过，每个隙缝都去寻找，你的体形小，任何地方你都可能会躲。
屋后到屋前，屋里到屋外，我不知道寻找了多少遍。一直告诉我自己，你，还在。
每一次低头或蹲下，都渴望看见你。
但是，我一次又一次的失望。
我一直想，可能被其他三只追，你害怕而躲起来，不敢出来。
不断的找，希望可以找到蛛丝马迹〉你的大便。
但是，你的大便，只让我追踪到厨房外面, 就没有了。

我的心随着时间慢慢的冷了，完全没有你的生命痕迹，但是我抱着希望。

问其他那三只兔子你在那里，只是白费心机，他们不会回答我，也不知道怎么回答我，但是它们应该知道我很着急，着急寻找它们刚刚目睹被猫吃掉的你，因为它们一直围着我，希望可以告诉我你在那里。

深夜了，我还在寻找。
我开始哭泣了，因为我开始有你被猫吃了的心理准备。
我完全不能接受这个事实，我才开始对可爱的你有感情，你就离开了。

刚才六点，你还在我的怀里，跟我一起玩。九点，你不在了。
那三个小时，我还在电脑前面整理你的相片，把相片upload去blog和朋友们分享。
怎么知道。。。。

我开始责怪自己，为什么不频密一些看你，短短的三个小时，你可是经历了多少事情。

小小又还是婴儿的你，从被其他三只吓唬，到急忙钻出笼子，到寻找地方躲避，跑出去了，看见猫咪（这是你一定吓破胆了），到被猫咪追杀，最后，被它咬，你挣扎，痛苦的死了。

我不想去想，但你的样子一直浮现在我脑海。
这，是阴魂不散吗？
深夜了，我无法睡，我的心，一直在颤抖。
我不停的哭，觉得很对不起你，我竟然不能救一只小兔子。
养三只，竟然不能把你照顾好。
我真的好想念你，Junior.

Junior是一只精灵的兔子。

早上起来，我带着哭肿的眼睛，印了好多[寻找兔子]的启示，把它挂在附近所有的电灯柱，希望其他人可以帮忙看看。
我还注明 ： 有任何兔子身体部分或尸首都联络我。
没有看见你的尸体，我不死心。
等了一天，没有人联络我。

爸爸安慰我：兔死不能复生。
朋友1安慰我：它真的很讨人喜爱，就怪你和它没有缘分吧！
朋友2说：节哀吧。
朋友3：不要太伤心。
我安慰自己：也许，Junior是兔子王国的公主，它被士兵们救回去了，所以没有尸体。但你至少来和我道别啊！

我跟观音娘娘说：如果你让Junior回来了，我会努力读书，STPM会拿很多A.
我也希望，你不是真的离开，只是妈妈把你送给别人了。
还有很多很多安慰自己的理由。

妈妈开始和我分析状况，我们也认为你是被野猫吃了。
我痛恨野猫，我在也不会喂附近的野猫了。

前几天我阅读报纸，他们说让小孩养宠物，会教他们如何面对死亡与及如何应付。
心爱宠物的离开，也代表心爱的人离开。
如果他们离开了，小孩子该怎么面对没有他们的空虚感，如何继续生活下去。
这样，小孩子才不会害怕死亡，当心爱的人离开，也可以冷静的面对。

可能我没有正式面对死亡，这种突如其来的死亡，我不知道心理该怎么处理，所以才那么伤心。
前几年另外一只兔子死，我不知道为什么放学之前就有心理准备，可能它有和我道别吧。

可是，你的离开，我什么心理准备都没有。
我们的主人与宠物的关系才刚刚开始，你就离开了。

我真的很伤心。
我很想抱你，很想动你那小小的耳朵，很想被你小小力的咬，很想看你跑，很想看你眯着眼睛，半个头塞在笼子外面无奈的样子。

这两天，我完全不能控制自己的眼泪。
今天才恢复状态，才写了这篇东西。


你曾经失去过你最爱的宠物吗？
Do you ever lost something you love?


Junior,你回来啊！
我们相处只有短短的5天，我真的很想念你。

你会继续留在这个世界，当这个世界上还有人记得你，你就不会消失 =）


永远怀念你的人 上

*Sorry I have to use Mandarin in this post. I'm really sad of losing Junior and I think mandarin is better to me in expressing my feelings.

Dear Junior,
Where are you now? If you have already leave the world, please tell me you are very happy in heaven now.
The moment I discover your lost is the memory I can't ever forget. It is carved deeply in my mind.

This is the 4th day and there is still no sign of you.
Notices are everywhere and nobody phones me.
Neighbours told me you are probably eaten by the evil hunter stray cats.

I miss Junior's tiny ears, two patches of brown beside her nose, small teeth and herself. I want Junior to bite my hand with her tiny teeth. I miss you so much. I just can't stop thinking about u.
I often slow down my car near the notice on the lamp post just to have a look of you.

Bye Junior, thank you for the memories although it is a short five day.
I love you my smart little Junior.

Junior

Update some pictures of Junior the mini little bunny, a new family members. =)

Junior looks like hamster without the ears.

Sorry the photos are little bit blur.

Not bigger than Eu Chen's foot !!!
Opps, stuck in the bin.

with her favourite pine!

I wanna get these for my rabbits.
As friend. =x

Happy Party & presents

My 19th Bday party is over!

What a long preparation.
Woke up early in the morning then non-stop preparing food =)
Luckily I managed to take a 45 mins nap.

A tired and busy night I had.
But I enjoy it with all the wishes fr my friend.
Good to see them laugh and chit-chat around.

My theme is party hat but only chian, kee and harn wei brought their party hat.
Phei e brought her cap.
She thought my theme is hat.*funny*
Nvm, it doesn't matter.

First of all,
I want to say thank you to my *dear mummy* in helping me to prepare all delicious food, planing the party and $$ in buying everything.
The party will not make it without u =)
Next, daddy and bro Eu Chen.
They bought ice and took the ordered fried rice.
bRo helped in setting the venue.

The party isn't going very well in the beginning.
Thunder rain visited my party!
Omg, the rain pours when I'm changing my dress.
F*ck! The weather was sooo damn good minutes ago!
Where does the rain come from????!
The day b4 yesterday, yesterday and even tonight doesn't rain at all!

I almost cry when I found out it was a big heavy rain.
Keep asking my dad "is it going to stop?" ='(
You know, I'm serving BBQ.
BBQ-ing serve best in outdoor.
But it is raining out there!
Guest are arriving and I am soo hungry!
What to eat?!
The main course is BBQ, no stove with fire and rain!
Luckily I have some pasta(macaroni?) prepared.
So the early arrival had some pasta cooked by YChian, Harn Wei & Kee.
*Thanks for the help*

I was told that the dress suits me.
*happy+happy+happy*

But the party have to go on.
So we decided to move the stove under the roof (under the open air parking)
Once again, thanks hw, yc, x-er, kee (i missed anyone?) in setting the fire.

Good news, the rain become lesser and lesser.
Before the party starts I'm worrying the hot environment.
Because of the rain, the air around is soo cool and I don't have to on the fan!
Yeah.

Here's some snap during the party :
(totally forgot to take pictures during the party untill my dad reminded me)

My classmate are Q-ing their food.
(Can you see yan yan taking with her Zi hao? There is a light bulb between them)

bDay cake from Chocolate cake house.
Chocolate Truffle.

Gotcha!
What makes Shyong come out with this expression?
Balloons!! Colourful balloons!
I LOVE Balloons
but not when they burst.
Well, I jump to the present I received during my bDay.

** PRESENTS **

I'm so happy.

I received some stuff toy ->
Doggy, cutie chubby pink pig, a pair of snoopy.

A can of sweets, puzzle, key chains, a nice bag, two necklace which I like it very much, a cup & doll fr Miss Irene, accessories box, and necklace hangers.

Ok, What is my most special present?
My answer would be : Junior !!!
Phei e and Yee Chern gave this bunny to me and named it as Junior.
It was soo unbelivable when I open the box and a small tiny creature inside.
Junior with a ribbon tied on it's body and a msg "My name is Junior."
See, she is as big as my palm!

Meei Siew trying to immitate Junior.
Funny~
Junior with a ribbon!
The Moos behind Junior are joyful.
*wink*

Licking it leg.

Junior is kissing me !!

I hope Junior is a girl.
For ur information, Lawrence Lilo & Tutu is female.
So I can't have a male because they will breed.

* presents fr Shyong *

he gave me this mini mp3 player when the clock stroked 12 to 30 September.
It is from Disney and in Mickey mouse head shape.
The suprise is in the playlist.
Below the player is Unazukin.
A doll which will nod or shake it's head when I talk to it.

He passed this to me when the clock is gonna stroke 12 to 1st October.
Guess what is inside there.

A hand made photo album from him!
baby u are so sweet.

Next, he made a cake for me!
Omg, he never made a cake before.
It is a mango cheese cake.
Touching ..

Gonna taste some.

Daddy mummy and bro wanna eat too.

Mmmmm~
yummy yummy
It taste extrememly delicious
that fact is was made by Shyong had cover my taste bud.
But it is really tasty for a new baker.

*Rabbits*

This is Tutu.
She is not happy with Junior's arrival.
She tried to bite Junior when I meet them together while Lilo is fine with Junior.
I dare not to introduce Junior to Ah Law because I know she WILL chase her for SURE.

Ah! A new rabbit.
tm asked me is it good or bad.
sigh* I don't know.
Erm, because I treat the rabbits individually instead of a group of rabbit.
Futhermore, they will fight!

The first bully the else, 2nd chase the 3rd, 3rd bite the 4th.

Ah Law is now a elder sister of 3!
She really cannot accept that 3 more rabbits are gonna share food with her.
I bet she will cry when she find out there is a new rabbit.

Melissa, ur long distance call made my eyes watery.

41, I'm so sorry about that.

Before I end,
I am so grateful that I have a perfect family, always-be-there and supportive friends.
All of them are there with me on my birthday and sings the birthday song LOUD to me.

I'm a blessed kid =)

Oh ya, Good Luck in all exams my dear friends!

p/s, Pui Wen is a sweet little girl.

link to Phei e's blog about my bDay party *