Not just dengue. Part One.

Shooooooo fast time had past! It has been 2 weeks since I've admitted into hospital! The original version of this blogpost is very long as I babbled out every single detail of the experience I'm in the hospital. But then I realized no one wants to read it all and why am I exposing everything to everyone?! I'll tell the story by person if I see you ;)

This post is really long, so I'm spilting it into part one and two.

I was admitted to Pantai Baru Hospital after 3 days of high fever. On Sunday morning, I felt my heart beat was unusually fast and found difficulties to breath. I immediately called shyong and had him bring me to emergency. I barely can stand in the emergency room, so they put me on a wheel chair, vomited badly and ended up in observation bay.

Did my very first blood test on that Sunday morning. Blood test result weren't good. So they want me to stay in the hospital. I didn't bring my medical card along with me. I don't even know what is that. How irony it is where my parents are insurance agent but their daughter didn't carry a medical card with her. My dad sms me every information I needed. He was still in

Kuantan attending his brother's funeral. I planned to attend but I was too sick to be there.

R.I.P Uncle. You'll always be remembered.

I can tell really looong story of my first day. At first I was staying in a shared room but then my dad called the hospital, insisted of changing me to a individual ward, because I was suffering in the shared room.

Because I took panadol, so I felt much better late in that afternoon, so I took a home leave and had Shyong brought me back to hostel to pick up some everyday needs. See? That's the disadvantage of being sick far away from home. No one can help you pick up things that u need from home. Have to go all by yourself even though you're deadly weak.


Okay, finally my dad reached. My heart is like putting down thousand of kg of burden when I saw him. Seeing my dad made me feel so comfortable. He'll settle all my doubts and unknowns, he won't let me worry anything. Magically I didn't cry with I saw my dad as I was crying earlier when I was alone. My tears was held back because I don't want him to worry.

Mum made dad brought alot of fruits, 3 big bunch of grapes and one big watermelon, and a juice machine.
Haha, dad felt embarassed to make juice in the room, so he cut the big watermelon and made me eat half of the watermelon.

I was unable to eat or drink, basically I vomit everything out. Can't even drink much water, must go one sip by one sip. The only thing I didn't vomit is watermelon. So dad made me eat even more watermelon -.-

He bought me fresh juice from Boost everyday. Haha. He just want me to consume fruits only to be healthy.

Dad requested an extra bed because he'll be sleeping with me in the room. Hilariously the hospital can't do that! They can't provide an extra bed. Or they don't have one. This is really funny. What about those children that needs parents to take care? Don't they have extra bed?!
Eventually they only able to give one super cheap quality lay chair. U know, those kind of chair got made of colourful strings one, usually old people use it.

How can someone sleep overnight on that chair?!
Dad only managed to sleep for 1 hour then he woke up because he felt that the rubber are moving apart. I then tell him I'm okay here, he don't have to worry and convinced him to put a night in my hostel. So he went back to my hostel at 2am in the midnight. Boooooooooo!

Next day, my dad requested to change into deluxe indivual ward as there's a long cushion in there, it's quite comfy and can be bed. That night I assumed dad had a good night because I heard his snores all night long. I was, on contrary, can't sleep at all.

Lack of water inside my body even though I have dripping, like this ::

My lips cracked like crazy. The skin kept peeling off.

About this dripping needle right, last time when Lim Shik Lin was admitted into hospital, she told me it isn't painful at all. But I don't believe. How can it can be painless where there's a needle pricked through your skin and stay in your body?!

Well, it isn't pain for the first 2 days, until the 3rd day, where the needle gets old and swell. I felt extreme pain everytime they inject medicine and then flush it. I begged the nurse to do the injection SLOWly.

One more thing, it is VERY INCONVENIENCE.!!
Imagine each time you wanna go toilet, you gotta press the call bell then the nurse come in to stop the dripping. There's one other option too, there is to bring the whole thing into the toilet. -.-

My internal bleeding started after day 2 and I was really lucky enough to have it as period, where I had it every month and get used to it. Unlike other people, some bleed in nose, in gums or stomach.

3rd day, my high fever never goes off, I keep vomit verything even though I was injected with medicine that prevent nausea, platelet count keep dropping and my liver is inflame. My doctor came into my ward and tell me :" We have to admit you into ICU."

I was surprised to hear that and I felt scared! Why is my situation went so serious as I don't feel anything weird at all!
She then comforted me :"In ICU, we get to monitor you in every ways and you get to do a lining at your left arm so that the nurse to have to poke you everyday for blood. Don't worry."

How could I be not worry! Most of my fear came from my imagination of ICU where I saw in drama, where ICU is filled with alot of medical machine, patient being connected with a lot of wires and have to lie on the bed, cannot move. Then ICU is dark, cold, and lifeless. And when your friends and families wanna visit you, they have to change, wear mask and gloves. Or worse stand outside and look at you.

"How many days I have to stay?"
"Depends on your situation, maybe one day maybe few days."

Shit. I'm really worry now. I must recover in one night! I dont want ICU!!!!!
On the spot this thing came into my mind :"发烧快快退啊，小血板快快升！" And the rest of the time I kept repeating this verse inside my mind. Law of attraction!!!!! I send the msg to the universe, and it'll attract all the good things to me!

"Is there a TV in ICU?"
"*giggles* Of course no. There's no entertainment inside there."
"*fainting soon* So what can I do in there? Can bring phone ah?"
"Can lah but don't use it too often. You can read magazine."

My heart dubbed really fast on the way to ICU. Passed by some room, I saw some really ill patient inside there, god bless. And they are all connected to a lot of machine and the room is dark and cold and lifeless. Everything matches my imagination.

My heart felt way more lighter when I reached my room!!
Just one machine, bright and warm!!! I smiled once I reach.

"Hey! No machine one?"
"Hahahaha, you are not that ill, we only monitor your heart beats, blood pressure and other thing!"
Oh my I'm so happy once I heard the nurse said I'm NOT THAT ILL.

*Look around, there's a basin there but no toilet bowl.*
"Eih? No toilet? How to go toilet."
"Oh, ICU patient can't leave their bed. Call us when you wanna go toilet. We'll bring you a potty then you do it on bed."
"On bed?! How oh?"
"Later I'll teach you."

Cannot leave bed. Cool. Eat Sleep Pee Shit all on the same bed.

Few nurse then come in, start to connect me to the wire by sticking something on my chest.
When she flush my dripping needle, I yelled of pain. She then realized it has been there for 3 days.
So she removed it and reinsert it in a new spot.

Still on my right hand. According to the nurse, this part is not so painful.
Can you see the red bruises on the side of my hand?
It's the effect of the worn needle.


The nurses in ICU was very kind. I met one chinese nurse. Her name is Esther. Guess I'm the most healthy person in ICU, so I am not sleeping all the time but stared blankly outside and to the ceiling. She came in and talked to me. I felt much better, less worried after talking to her. She told me I have to drink a lot of water no matter how.


One hour after I was admitted into ICU, Dr. Joseph came in to help me to insert a lining. It had to be done by a doctor because it's artery we're talking about.
Not so painful but there's one part quite scary where my blood surged out and I actually felt the warmth of the blood -.-
And I cannot bend my left hand because the lining is on the elbow.
Well, at least it's better than pricking my skin with needles 3 times a day.

I took the nurse's advice, keep drinking water and gladly I didn't vomit them out.

So I have to pee like every hour because of the amount of water I'm consuming plus the dripping.
The nurse will bring a baby blue potty, then I took out my pants on the bed infront of her, squat on the bed and weeeeeeeeee, pee. Then wipe it with wet tissue.


That night I was required to change into ICU dress. Forgive me for being so ugly. My hair isn't washed, my face is rounder, my eyes are swollen and pale. This ICU dress is kinda sexy, it's like a cloth covering your front and buttoned on back with only one button. Bare back huh.

Esther then tell me to bring out my laptop because I'm very bored. I was so happy that I'm allowed to do that! Plus my room is just somewhere above Starbucks so I used the line to watch movie, youtube, and facebook!

My beautiful friends visited me in ICU, usually they only allow 2 person but 6 of them came in!!!
The nurses then tell me ICU has never been this meriah for a long time ;) Of course lah, I'm the most healthy in ICU eh!.

Same as usual, I can't sleep at the night in ICU. Around 2am I woke up because I heard giggles outside ICU, when I open my eyes, I saw the nurses are taking pictures among themselves with cute poses!! Haha, they really know how to entertain themselves among this tough work.

Midnight isn't Esther's shift. She left around 10pm.
I called the nurse, told her I can't sleep and I want sleeping pills. She gave me half and tell me I can't take it everyday.

Blood test result at the morning showed my platelet count is increasing. Dr. Foo is happy to announced that I can transfer back to normal ward! The law of attraction WORKS!
Yay!

Dad is happy too, he even took this picture for me. hahaha.



Okay, just when I thought I'm going to recover, something odd happened.

My mood of first 4 days were very bad. Never felt this worse before. I can't eat I can't drink. Even the TV sounds irritates me. I want to sleep but I can't sleep. I felt so heavy. I can hardly smile. When I see my dad I feel guilty and sorry. Because he wanted to take care me he can't go to work. And I made him and mom worry. Not a good daughter.
Sad, depressed, terrible, distressing, gloomy, unhappy, blue and down are words to describe how I felt.
Everytime the nurse came in to check my body temperature it is always above 38celcius. The first time ever I wanna use the word FML to describe everything.
Why I'm still in fever, why I'm still vomitting, why my liver is inflame?
And when I see the nurse walking in and out my room in fine healthy state, I asked myself, why am I lying here feeling dizzy all the time.
Every second I'm wondering when will I recover. People keep telling me I'll recover in few days. How many days is few days means? 3 days? 4 days? or a week?


Stay tune for part two.